Prime

The whole 14 months I dated this last "wankster", I kept thinking to myself  "You can't have my Prime." That's so jacked up to be thinking that when you are supposed to be cultivating love but that's what it was. My Prime, and yes I do mean to capitalize it, is the best of me,  my time and energy, the inside and out beauty of me, the residual  from being in my glorious, ethereal presence, lol, but I'm serious as a mf''a. Naw, mane....you can't have It. You can't tote me around with your unresolved junk which conjures up the mental image of Fred Sanford's pickup truck and the frontyard of his delapidated house. Nope, you can't have my Prime. Some people refer to their Prime as that very brief time in their 20's when they had the body, some ambition and the slick talk. My Prime continues and I'm not giving it away or allowing free rides on the coattails of it. You go 'head and stay over there with your self imposed limitations and tethers and tie-downs. Me and my Prime will be elsewhere doing what we so choose when we so choose to...that's how we roll.

My Prime is so important to me. The part of it that's ego driven is so miniscule but the part that is grounded, spiritual and knowing of its worth...that's the part that I coddle and nurture. There are aspects of My Prime that I've shared with other people and I can't get back: my time, my energy, the extending of myself to help others. But I trust that in those instances, they needed more of me than I did of them and I was the vessel. I can live with that. We all have our Prime. And I hope, for myself included, that we choose wisely with whom we share it.

Rewind

Im back and can't wait to resume documenting my daily adventures!

Uno uno

Whatever we choose to call 2011 as we embark upon it, one thing is for sure that the age old tradition of New Year's "resolution making" brings about swift movement. I brought in the new year with friends, which included a guy that I had been dating since September. Let's just say that as of today, he's on his way out. I try to be oh so careful about who I ring in the New Year with, but I may be laying superstition aside.
There is a Britney Spears perfume commercial where Britney meets with a fortune teller and then ultimately decides to fore go the fortune teller's vision to chart her own destiny. As corny as it sounds, that's my plan for 2011 and beyond. I can admit that I have consulted psychics, horoscopes, charts and the like to help me understand what direction to pursue. That's a lazy girl's guide to life, but charting one's own destiny in the face of temporary loneliness, thumping of the heart....I 'ont know. I'm kinda down for the journey because the alternative seems so, well, ordinary.
If I don't chart my own destiny, then who will? Married dude who "wants" a divorce but has yet to initiate "getting" one? Naw, that ain't for me. I can see how bright my future is...even though I have the many trappings that most strive for: nice house, car..check, clothes in the closet, job I like, attractive, in shape, smart, outgoing....really, not a care or a need in the world. But there are still people to meet, babies to kiss and dogs to pet. Nothing is new under the sun yet each day is anew and replete with possibilities for that destiny to manifest.

Good to me but not good for me

My friend's father has a saying that he keeps in regular rotation..."Everything that's good to you isn't good for you." I like the sentiment but hate the application. I find myself eliminating alot based upon this philosophy...1) Ol' dude who pays for dinner, drinks, concerts but isn't relationship material is good to me but not good for me...so bye, 2) The new everose rolex with the white alligator band would look good "on" me but would be horrible for my finances...guess not. I mean I could go on but you get the gist.



When I reflect on those things that I left by the wayside because they weren't good for me, I realize the application wasn't so bad. Ol dude paid for things, but I later found out he had a weed habit...glad I didnt stick around. The rolex, well it would probably play out in a year or two but the payments would linger on for much longer...good choice to pass on it.



This implies that you should cut out the dead wood or prune the vine so that greater things can have their rightful place in your life. It brings to mind a saying my mom has used "If it cant help you and might hurt you, why bother?" For that most excellent way to become the only way, make the tough choices sooner rather than later.

This heart of mine-Pros/Cons

I thought about how underrated a Pros/Cons list is. Sure, we've heard how this should be used when making a major decision. But how often do we actually do that? I've decided to use this list to determine the fate of a relationship that I've recently become involved in. Ol' dude is kinda reluctant to shake the spot because, well, refer to the name of the blog and resume reading here....I on the other hand am ready to bounce. My mental pros/cons didn't pan out in his favor. I actually wrote this list several weeks ago and it surprises me that it still rings true. The guy is very nice but none of my cons have become pros. Here they are:



Pros:

Tall

Pretty Smile

Good Job

Entertains travel

Great demeanor

Nice, clean apartment

Well spoken

Active, play golf

No kids

Decent auto

Eager to please



Cons:

Two marriages

Has a vasectomy, hence "the no kids"

Serial monogamous, has a history of cohabitation

Lets others determine his fate

Never owned a home

Has diabetes and high blood pressure, ticking time bomb?

Some physical evidence that he hasn't taken care of his body...saggy booty.

Bad credit

Has a degree from a diploma factory

Dated/married women at his workplace



Does he sound like a keeper?

Goin' Deep

My BFF recently got an "underground" blog and, yes, I had to follow suit. Sometimes you want that space where you can put those private even sacred thoughts where only a select few can view them. I like to share...but since I put the name of my first blog on facebook, well I just want something else too. So here it is, oneperfectten.blogspot. Enjoy and share your thoughts with me.